What if the only way is to give up?

Let me start by saying that the reason for writing such post is because as of recent news, Kpop idol Jonghyun (of SHINee), has committed suicide because of depression. He has been suffering from that mental battle for years now, and the extreme pressure of being an idol in Korea had finally won over him.

For those of you who don’t like Kpop, don’t stop reading just yet.

This is an important issue that happens to any individual, that’s why you need to at least know what depression is really like, and of course, what thoughts fill suicidal people that push them to really do it..?

It is said that depression is like living in a body that fights to survive, with a mind that tries to die. There is no exaggeration in that. Since this topic is close to my heart, I’m just gonna share a couple of “thoughts” that go into the mind of depressed people.

“People think depression is sadness, crying or dressing in black. But people are wrong. Depression is the constant feeling of being numb. You wake up in the morning just to go back to bed again.”

1. “It’s a happy day, but for some reason, I feel alone.”

Depressed people would often feel empty, and alone, even during a normal/beautiful day. They can flip from being in a very happy mood, to an extreme depression all of a sudden. It’s not meant to be confused with a bipolar disorder, though. The best thing to do if you have a friend that displays this symptom is to check on him or her right away. If they prefer to be alone, then give them the space. If not, be there, but don’t be pushy. YOU SEE – the line that separates respecting their personal space, and being too involved is thin.

2. “Nobody understands me.”

Since the feeling of being depressed is quite difficult to explain (most people don’t know what they are depressed about and it adds to the frustration), they’d prefer not to tell a single soul about it at all. You can live with your best friend/childhood friend all your life, and still not know about his or her depression. These people who are depressed can only open up to people who they think would not judge, boss, fake-sympathize, or mistreat them.

3. “How do I fill this void inside me?”

Depressed people have this inner void that makes them feel incomplete. True enough, this is caused by any life event – minor or major. It is said that the main reason for this is when we are disconnected from others.  I beg to disagree, because I believe there’s more to that. Really, this disconnection doesn’t just pertain to the special people in your life. You may be disconnected from God, your family, friends, partner, your passion, your work, an experience, etc. It really varies.

4. “I don’t want to be depressed, but I can’t help it.”

I already wrote a post about the power of the mind (and gratitude), and how it can attract and manifest your thoughts. Whatever seeds you plant in your mind, good or bad – it will come to pass because that’s what you put in your mind. Depressed people think about depression, and spend many hours, days, and even years thinking and believing in their depression. That’s why it continues to haunt them. They may feel that they don’t want it, but they are in some way, ATTRACTING it. (This mental illness is tricky because half the battle is in the mind.)

I am not saying that depressed people are completely at fault for feeling that way, but I just want point out that the power of thoughts can make or break anyone. They have no faith that hope exists, when actually it does. That is why they believe there’s no way out.

5.  I just want it all to end.

The worst thought a depressed person could think of is committing suicide. I’m sure you’ve heard of some stories about a girl, or an adult giving up on life. When your mind can’t handle it anymore; the feelings of guilt, anger, anxiety, sadness, emptiness, etc. take over and cause you to do really bad things to yourself. When the pain is too much to take in, human instinct is to take it out. How? By hurting oneself. And to someone who’s looking to stop everything, suicide is the way.

If you (yes you! The one reading this) ever feel depressed, please find comfort in the fact that people are here, or I am here to listen & talk to you if you want. There’s a chance that I am a complete stranger to you… but I know how it feels to really drown in depression/sadness and feel so trapped you don’t know what the hell to do. Talking to someone really helps, because there’s no judgment or whatsoever… they’re just there to listen.

To everyone who’s looking to make a change and be a ray of light: Let me just say this – we all have a role to play to ensure that those who suffer from depression feel less afraid, and less humiliated to share their story/sentiments of mental illness. Let’s pay a closer attention to how the people around us (the people we love, know, and care about) are coping with life.

Okay? 🙂