Emotional cheating – that’s what’s up.

 

With the current 7.6 billion and counting global population (composed of 3.8 billion males, and 3.7 billion females), what are the chances that someone is actually out there for you? Researchers claim that love is a numbers game, and that “the chance of finding love on a given day is just 1 in 562 if you leave it entirely to fate.”

Considering that you can totally change that fate, for instance, by making the effort to meet more people and have a higher chance of romantic success, why target a person who is committed to somebody else, then?

My personal opinion on girls and guys who openly entertain flirting behind their partner’s backs is fairly simple.

 

People who make a move on someone who is in a relationship is, without fail, low – and if you’re at the receiving end, enjoying and entertaining him or her – that’s worse.

 

Don’t get me wrong. When I say “receiving end,” I mean someone who reciprocates and encourages the flirting. I really don’t get how some people have the guts to throw themselves at someone, knowing, and acknowledging, that that person is in a committed relationship. If poaching partners was a job, they’d certainly make a stellar career out of it.

 

 

I am aware of couples who have destroyed a beautiful relationship because of what they thought was just a simple act, which eventually led to something else. But let me tell you, some cheaters don’t deliberately plan to cheat on their partners. They unconsciously f-ed things up when they entertained the act of flirting, or when they flirted with another guy or girl.

We have the freedom to choose who our partners would be. If you don’t plan to be faithful, and to stay committed, then why are you still fooling yourself?

 

ALSO READ: Social Media is Toxic and You Know It

 

 

If you are either knowingly or unknowingly flirting behind your partner’s back, here’s what you should know. 

 

You are harming your partner

Flirting isn’t exactly outright cheating. There, I said it. But messing with someone, not being sure of the boundaries, or if you already know your partner is “unhappy with how you are behaving with other men and women and you continue to behave in that way,” that’s really harmful. What would you do if it was the other way around? In this digital age, cheating isn’t always kissing, touching or doing who knows what. If you’re “deleting texts or social media messages so your partner won’t see, then you’re probably already there.” If you’re doing this, you’re off to a great start of emotionally cheating on your guy/girl.

 

You are disrespecting your partner

Sometimes, flirting issues can easily be shrugged off with “sensitivity” comebacks. But that’s just funny. People say “you’re too sensitive,” because they don’t want to be held responsible for your reaction when they mistreat you. Depending on how you respond to a person who’s flirting with you, that says a lot about how much respect you have for your partner. No one’s expecting everyone to be a saint. In fact, flirting can be good for a relationship in some way. It can make you appreciate your partner even more by realizing it was a temporary distraction, and an indirect commitment test. It can also boost your self-confidence to know that you’re still desirable to others, and not trapped with your partner. But you should definitely know your limits. Where do you draw the line? What if that person is already saying “You should break up with your girlfriend!,” and you don’t say anything that asserts your respect of your relationship at all? 

 

You are not considering the feelings of your partner

I think one thing that’s really great about being in relationships, is you get to care for, and about someone, in everything that you do. Will this make him feel happy? Will this put a smile on his face? When flirting goes beyond just looking, teasing, and admiring, then you may want to evaluate your actions. Will my partner be mad about this? How would he feel about me drinking with, and hugging this guy? How would she feel if I was in her shoes? If you cannot communicate with your partner, then think deep and hard, if what you’re doing could be unhealthy for your relationship.

 

You are betraying your partner

The element of betrayal would most likely have 4 factors: snooping, hiding, denying, and lying. Boy, you need to triple check if you’re doing it wrong, because these hurt the most. It all starts from “harmless” flirting.” In your mind, you think, “It’s no big! We’re not doing anything.” But as you keep that thought while entertaining someone, that could lead to something else. It’s better to admit that you are flirting with someone (who knows? Your partner might be cool with the issue), than to lie about it, just so you won’t have a hard time. Honesty and sincerity can make or break a relationship. Resolve things peacefully as much as possible.

 

You are destroying your partner’s trust

Given that betrayal is there, your guy/girl would most likely have his or heart broken, and would have a hard time giving you his or her trust. Once bitten, twice shy. A relationship is ALL about TRUST. When that one is destroyed, it’s hard to put the pieces back together. Would you prefer that you break your partner’s trust because of your personal and harmful gains?

 

Relationships never come with a CONTRACT TO LOVE. There’s no clause that prevents us from doing specific actions. As human beings, we love someone, and simply get attracted to someone else (whether opposite or same sex) down the road. It’s impossible not to. There are 7.6 billion people, and each is special in their own way/s.

But you should also know – because this goes without saying – being in a relationship means you are committing yourself to ONE person, and to THAT person alone. No one is perfect, and you can’t possibly be aware of all the repercussions of your actions. Just remember to honor and be true to three things: YOURSELF, YOUR PARTNER, and YOUR RELATIONSHIP.

 

Friendly advice, if ever you and your partner experience the hypothetical issue, remember that trying to break it up right away isn’t exactly the best action. That won’t give you the ultimate happiness, and contentment you need by a long shot.

Listen, and communicate with each other more. 

Appreciate each other more.

Find it in your heart to be more forgiving and understanding.

 

BE MORE & DO MORE. That way you become stronger together, and way deeper in love.

……

Of course, I’m not saying not to let go, when all the actions already point to that direction.  If you feel like sh*t for a long time, and there’s no fix for what has been done, you have to decide.

“LOVING MORE” is also meant for you. You’ll know if you want to spend your future together with your partner. These mere challenges are the test. How you draw your life, is still up to you. 🙂

What makes you happy, and what would give your heart peace? Reflect on that.