When I was younger, I thought that true friendship was defined by regular communication and time spent together.

But then I got older. I came to know that there are different layers to relationships, and it’s not necessarily about the number of hangouts you guys have been to to determine the lifelong bond..

Life can be motivated to put you two on different paths

I could think of a person or two from whom I have been estranged, and it’s really not the nicest feeling. Yes, I’m saying, it’s even sadder than a breakup.

Once upon a time, I had the privilege of sharing a solid friendship with a person characterized by low-maintenance & holiday hangouts, teenage drama, sleepless school nights, and all sorts of crazy antics. I still consider this person my dear friend, despite the very obvious change in our relationship now. But if you had told me 10 years ago that we would be so far apart today, I would never have believed you.

Maybe it’s just me but there were already small gaps opening between us and I was probably too occupied to notice. When we got hurled into reality, we both got busy navigating our own lives – finding the perfect balance between life, career, and everything in between.

New friends came.
Work required more time and effort.
Hobbies for our sanity demanded space in our lives.
Heck, new interests and challenges presented themselves.

From regular chats, we entered a phase of infrequent exchanges. I’d like to think it’s not too forced or awkward now, but the feeling that it’s not quite the same anymore is apparent. It’s like this person doesn’t want you to stay.

Phone calls would be dedicated to only the important questions, and reaching out just to annoy became limited. Because what if it’s not annoyingly cute anymore, and just plain annoying? We used to hang out whenever we could. But now, not even a “Hi, are you free this weekend?”

Putting a friendship on pause (is that even a thing?)

There was a time when I would be all pouty and jealous about all the other friends this friend of mine had been seeing. “I thought we were closer,” was my only thought. Sometimes, I would even be defensive and think, “I probably don’t miss you that much anyway.” Haha.

Well, it’s almost always just a trigger to burning questions.

“What ever happened to us?”
“Where did we go wrong?”

I say, Nowhere. Probably. Hopefully. I’d hate to think that I drove this person away because I caused pain. And if I ever did, that’s the last thing I ever wanted.

You’ll reach a point of self-examination

How could you be all gloomy about a person not reaching out to you? Acknowledge your side of the street. Ask yourself, did you even make an effort to show your support to this person? Were you present when it mattered? Were you there to make the person feel that you also want him or her in your life?

I wasn’t an exemplary friend too, so it’s not fair for that person to be burdened by my emotions. Hehe but one thing’s for sure. That friend is someone I will cherish for the rest of my life.

My understanding of a lifelong bond already changed

But just because true connections aren’t defined by quality time spent together doesn’t mean you don’t yearn for it. That’s what it’s like to love.

I know for a fact that people come and go and I’m not gonna lie – I experience occasional sadness whenever I think about the friendship that was. But looking back, I’m just grateful for everything because this connection made me feel true happiness for a long time. I’m also deeply inspired by this person who is incredibly smart and brilliant, hardworking, yet still has a larger-than-life personality.

And if you’re reading this…

I would be pleasantly surprised. 😀🤍 I miss youuuuuu! You stuck with me through the yellow and the blue. Know that there will always be a part of me with you.. No matter where life takes us, I will be cheering you on, my dear friend. 🙂